The shitty first draft was a good start too because I found more of my outline than anything else. I got all my ideas on paper and have a pretty good foundation. I just need to get rid and add some key stuff so that it can be perfect. Right now I have a little more than the 4-6 pages, but that will be cut down when I have to revise. Hopefully.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Core 1 Reflection
The core 1 essay is harder than I first thought. At first, I didn't think anything could be wrong, but there are still guidelines and still have to end where I began. But, the biggest problem I am having is with my overall essay right now. I don't feel very confident in what I have because I don't know whether it's good enough and I don't think my work is the best. I know I can always improve my work, but right now I'm stuck because I don't know where it needs improvement or which parts have too much information. I do feel good about what I wanna talk about and the different ways I am going about it. After doing the other journals it gives me a good lead on my essay, which has helped a lot. Also, I feel like my work could be a little more detailed in some areas to get rid of the broad statements and some areas are detailed enough.
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-Create a title.
ReplyDelete-Used Literacy Narrative, you might want to try to make that more clear in your intro.
-The opening sentence is specific but might need to work on the flow. A possible alternative to the opening sentence would be the first sentence of the second paragraph.
-Based on the first page, I think the essay is intriguing thus far.
-Good use of details and descriptions.
-If I read this in a magazine I would keep reading it.
- Good descriptions of specific moments and scenes throughout the essay. Also good transitions from the different grade levels.
-The voice is very honest and natural, personality shows through the essay.
-Might want to cut out some of the descriptions of experiences in order to have the paper fit the page limit. Also might consider adding to the conclusion.
-Has a fully developed moment of realization.
-Clearly demonstrated habits that worked and environments that weren't helpful.
-Might want to try to tie in the intro and conclusion more.
-3 greatest strengths were: descriptive in the stories and experiences, relatable experiences, good word choice.
-3 areas of improvement: work on flow, tie intro and conclusion together, cut out unnecessary information in order to fit page requirements.